Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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