I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Don't make out with my wife yet
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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