I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
