kristin has been a bad kristin
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My ass is underappreciated
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
