You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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