i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
