I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
