My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
