There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
