take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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