woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
