Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
