Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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