god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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