I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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