Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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