Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His hands were made for my vagina.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My vagina is very pro this idea
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
