He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
