but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
