She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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