I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize