Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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