I cannot find my penis.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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