My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
