I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
