dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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