If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
