His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
