we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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