final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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