Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize