I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
