HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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