i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
