So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
