pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
