what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
