Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
