No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize