so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
