I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
