if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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