just come out here and I will go home with you...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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