Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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