in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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