My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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