Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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