My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
