Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My cat gives me a boner
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
