Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
