hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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