i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
