You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
