you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
