After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh god it's open bar.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
