I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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