I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
