The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ambien. No doubt about it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize