When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
