They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
