My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
