YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
