ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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