We won't sleep together?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
