My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
pop tarts are not kleenex
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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