An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
