just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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