they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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