Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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