oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
